A Day Off From Reality
by AnakinsFavorite
Summary: During a fight, Anakin and Padmé decide to switch places for the day. Naturally, Anakin gets the underhand and learns some valuable lessons about appreciating the people he loves.
1. The Showdown

**Title:** A Day Off From Reality  
**Summary:** During a fight, Anakin and Padmé decide to switch places for the day. Naturally, Anakin gets the underhand and learns some valuable lessons about appreciating the people you love.  
**Characters:** Anakin, Padmé, Luke, Leia, handmaidens, Jedi…  
**Era: **Alternate Universe, after ROTS  
**Disclaimer: **I am still not the creator of Star Wars. This fic is based off a short story I read once (the husband and wife traded places for the day).

"Urgh, I hate this food!" Anakin muttered quietly under his breath so his wife wouldn't hear.

Or so he thought.

Pausing midway in spooning some baby food into a whining Luke's mouth, Padmé slammed the spoon down onto the table and placed her hands on her hips. "Anakin Skywalker!" she cried out in a menacing voice that all but made Anakin tremble in his large boots. "How dare you set a bad example for the twins by complaining about the meal… again! You know how busy I am, with the Senate and all- be thankful that I found the time to put food on the table for you!" 

Muttering something under his breath, Anakin watched as his sons smeared shurra fruit all over his face.

"See," Padmé said in an annoyed tone, gesturing at both of the twin's faces which were equally dirty.

"Your life isn't half as bad as you make it sound," Anakin said boldly after a moment's silence. By the look on Padmé's wife, he had gone too far but he didn't care anymore. "All you have to do is strut around in fancy clothes, look important, and boss around your handmaidens." At this, his brow furrowed. "Now that I mention it, I think you have too many of those. Have you ever considered downsizing your staff?" 

"I am not hearing this!"

"Oh, and I almost forgot," Anakin said bitterly, hitting his head with his hand, "you have to attend boring meetings where all you do is fall asleep…" 

"Never mind the fact that I'm helping better the Galaxy…" 

"I could easily do your job," Anakin interrupted, more to himself than anyone else, "and do it well."

Padmé let out a short laugh. "You could not! You couldn't stand it for more than a couple of hours, at the very most."

"Angel, I'm a Jedi- I can do whatever it is you do ten times better," he boasted, flinching she threw down her napkin.

"I bet you couldn't, Skywalker- you are only thinking what you want to." She sniffed daintily as if injured by his comment.

"I would if it was possible."

A sudden smile spread over Padmé's face, but Anakin wasn't sure if he liked it. "So, you think you could do my job for me? I tell you what- how about we trade places for… I don't know, a day, maybe. Then, let's see what you think of me and my carreer."

"A week," Anakin insisted hotly. 

Meanwhile, the twins all but gaped at their parents. For the first time, Anakin and Padmé had broken their rule about not fighting in front of the children.

Scruncing up her face, Leia began to wail even as Padmé hastened to get the child out of her seat and pull her into her arms. As if on cue, Luke also began to whimper, but Anakin did not notice.

"A week," he repeated.

"A day, and that's final!" Padmé spat. "And I'll even take care of the twins for you, just to make it fair!"

"Hey! I'm their dad- I can take care of them too!" Anakin cried out, jumping to his feet.

Luke continued to scream unnoticed and now resorted to throwing everything within arms reach onto the floor.

Another wicked smile spread across Padmé's face, and she seemed to be reconsidering her proposition. "Well, then…" she said a little more cheerfully, kissing Leia's head before plopping the girl into her father's arms, "you can take care of them then, since you insisted so badly." Not looking back, she strode from the dining room.

"I won't be coming to bail you out if you get in trouble!"

Shaking her head, Padmé found that two of her handmaidens were waiting for her, obviously having heard the loud conversation. "Come, ladies," she said in a hushed tone, "we have work to do." 

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**Coming Next: How does Anakin survive the next few hours after Padmé leaves?**


	2. The Day from Hell

**Chapter 2: The Day from Hell**

The members of the Jedi Council had been patiently waiting for Anakin to arrive, and were thus surprised to see Padmé striding into the chambers uninvited and wearing a brown tunic. An awkward silence ensued that was only broken when Mace Windu cleared his throat. "Is something wrong?" he asked, obviously thinking that a sudden crisis had caused her intrusion.

It was then that Padmé became aware of the fact that everyone was staring at her, but years of such reactions caused her to merely shrug and proceed to the only empty seat- obviously Anakin's.

Well, if she was going to take her husband's place, she was going to have his attitude to go along with it.

After scuffing her way to the seat, Padmé was about to sit down when a contained voice asked, "And what do you think you are doing, Lady Skywalker?"

Padmé was mentally laughing at the scene she knew that was being made, but she kept a solemnly straight face. "My husband decided to not come to the Temple today, so I am here in his stead."

"Have the maturity to be a Master, he does not," Yoda said darkly, everyone nodding in agreement.

"I quite agree with you," Padmé said.

"What has he done this time?" Obi-Wan groaned, for he was quite familiar with his former padawan's antics.

"Since my job is so easy, he is going to do it for me."

Laughter rung through the chamber.

"Funny to see, that would be," Yoda chortled. "Complicated for him, we should make this."

This time, Padmé allowed a smile.

Everything was going according to her plan. 

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_Same Time, Padmé's Senatorial Suite, the Kitchen (Still)_

"Come on, let go of my hair," Anakin moaned as Leia insisted upon trying to rip his blond locks out. He was afraid of hurting her little hands, but nothing he could do loosened her grip.

Luke was still crying.

Then Leia started crying and stuck her hands in her mouth, much to Anakin's relief. 

That is, until her sobs turned to a tantrum and she held her breath so long that her face went blue. She eventually ran out of air and, with a loud gasp, shrieked shrilly.

"Master Sywalker?" a female voice asked.

Groaning, Anakin turned around to find one of Padmé's handmaidens (which one?) watching him quizzically with a big smirk on her face. "What?" he snapped as he struggled to remove Luke from his highchair, partially due to the fact that Leia was now pinching his face.

"You need to get ready- you are late for your meeting with Senator Organa."

The Jedi muttered a string of oaths that made the twins suck in their breaths and then wail even louder.

"Cancel it!" Anakin hollered over the noise.

"What?"

"Cancel the whole darn thing- I can't go and watch over the twins." By then, the meeting sounded much more appealing than babysitting, and Anakin was inclined to com Obi-Wan and make him watch the twins.

_Padmé would never let me hear the end of that_ he thought grimly, changing his mind.

"You can't cancel- they are signing the final paperwork for a new piece of legislation," the woman protested, inordinately sassy to her mistress' husband.

Anakin sighed worriedly and regarded the young woman. "Could you watch over the twins for me?" he asked slowly, not positive that this was a good decision- after all, the young woman was close friends with his wife and would certainly tell Padmé of his weakness. 

"But of course," she smiled, but Anakin saw a malicious purpose beneath it. She took the twins from his arms who both immediately stopped crying.

_I swear Padmé put the twins up to that_ he gaped at the sudden reversal of their behavior, becoming even more agitated as his children grinned at him. 

"Come on," the handmaiden ordered, "we have to get you ready."

"But I am ready," Anakin protested, gesturing at his Jedi accoutrement.

"You can't wear that!" the handmaiden gasped in an appalled sort of way. "Don't worry- we'll take good care of you."   
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**Coming Next: Anakin survives the horrors of his 'makeover' and Padmé goes undercover to make his life even more miserable.**


	3. The Handmaidens From Hell

**Chapter 3: The Handmaidens From Hell**

Anakin was practically dragged into the bedroom, a place where he had spent many a happy hour but now looked positively evil. Garments laid everywhere and, considering the fact that most of them were either lacy or pink, Anakin hoped that none of them were intended for him.

"Come ladies," the head handmaiden (who was still digging her nails into Anakin's sensitive skin) announced loudly, causing all of her female companions to look up from what they were doing. "Master Skywalker needs to be at a meeting in a little, so we must work quickly!"

Quick was a very good word to describe how the handmaidens scurried about. In a mere second, they had Anakin wearing only his trousers and sitting in a plush chair.

_Maybe this won't be so bad_ he thought with a content sigh as one of the handmaidens rubbed his shoulders.

Suddenly, he started as something rather heavy was dumped on his lap.

"You need to brief yourself for the meeting," one of the handmaidens explained upon seeing his confused look.

Upon opening the bag that had been unceremoniously given to him, Anakin found that it contained a dozen datacards.

_Force- how does she do this? Thank goodness that this is all she drones on about during dinner._

"What are you doing?" a handmaiden asked as Anakin stuffed the datapads back into the satchel.

"I don't need them," he replied with a cocky grin and a gesture to his head. 

"If you insist." With as much force as they had been plopped onto them, the same handmaiden snatched them away.

That was then Anakin saw the tools of torture that were now spread out on the vanity before him. One was oddly shaped and had a handle with a tube that had a metal strip along the sides. Currently, one of the handmaidens was gently tapping with her fingers, cringing as it was evidently hot.

But that was not what Anakin was worried about- something much more sinister laid before him.

Makeup. 

Nailpolish (it was clear but he didn't care).

Hairspray. 

The guards who were down below enjoying a break with some decaf when they heard what vaguely sounded like a bantha stampede. 

In all actuality, it was Anakin attempting to flee to the door, but he was prevented from doing so by a dozen handmaidens. Only when a bold handmaiden held out the smoking tool that Anakin had seen earlier and jabbed it at him did the Jedi flee back to his chair and hastily put on the provided cape.

"Now that's the attitude," the head handmaiden laughed upon seeing how Anakin was so resolutely staying in his seat.

Within five minutes, Anakin had a different nickname for each of the handmaidens: the Devil (the head one, of course), Hairspray, Poker, Pouty, Chatty, Big Nose, Blondie (well, she was rather stupid), and many others.

"What are you doing?" Anakin asked apprehensively as the sizzling device was held up to his hair.

"Don't worry- this won't hurt," he was reassured.

"Unless you move and she burns you," one handmaiden chortled, causing all the others to giggle. 

_I hate giggling_ he thought darkly _and pink _Anakin added hastily as a pink cloth was held up to his eyes. 

In terrific horror, he watched as the tube was wrapped around a lock of his hair and held there until it all but steamed.

Anakin had a bad feeling about this.

The handmaiden pulled it away to reveal a nice, soft spiral curl.

"My hair…" Anakin said weakly, reaching up to touch the foreign object as if to make sure it was indeed real. It was just so… unmanly.

"Oh, how cute!" one handmaiden exclaimed.

Out of spite, Anakin mentally named her 'Fatty.'

Suddenly, the door flew open with a crash and a handmaiden hurtled in. "Am I too late? What's going on here?" Upon seeing Anakin all but pinned down and looking ridiculous with his one curled lock, she began to giggle in an unprecedented and annoying way. "I get to do his nails!" she cried out, seizing the bottle.

Anakin instinctively curled his toes, but there was no stopping that determined handmaiden. Soon, his nails glistened and even sparkled.

_Someone, please kill me _he moaned.

It took him a few minutes for him to realize that he had done so audibly.

"Are you not enjoying yourself?" a handmaiden asked, bringing a pair of tweezers dangerously close to his legs.

He soon yelped but not because of a single hair being ripped out of his leg- the handmaiden with the nail polish had soundly slapped him. "Anakin Skywalker! How dare you let your nails be in such nasty shape?" In an attempt to horrify him, she held up his obviously-nibbled nails. "This is beyond any skill I have- we need to have them manicured!" 

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**Coming next: Anakin survives his manicure, but will he survive Bail's reaction to his 'beautification'?**


	4. Anakin, Are You Wearing Makeup?

**Chapter 4: "Anakin, Are You Wearing Makeup?"**

**Bail's Penthouse, Meeting Room**

"This meeting shall forever determine the fate of the Galaxy," Bail told the gathered beings from where he paced at the head of the meeting table. Everyone watched him expectantly and a few nodded their heads in agreement to what was being said. "The Emperor had left the Empire in complete disarray and it is up to us to…"

Suddenly, he stopped and a horrified look spread over his face.

"Anakin! Are you wearing makeup?"

A long tortured groan was his response. 

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Whether or not it was due to his many years in the spotlight, Anakin hated it when people stared at him.

Especially now that he looked so retarded.

For the first time in his life, Anakin felt like retching in front of all these important personages. Within his robes, he tried to scrape off the shiny, sparkly nailpolish off his nails.

"Doesn't he look so handsome?" the Torture handmaiden from behind him asked.

No one replied but still stared at Anakin.

"What happened to you?" Bail asked, obviously thinking that Anakin had been in a dueling accident and had needed plastic surgery.

Anakin sat down with a huge sigh and shoved the curls out of his eyes. "I was tortured and abused."

"Ah… I see," Bail said slowly. "Did you do this to him?" he pointedly asked the handmaiden who silently stood behind Anakin- a position that the Jedi seemed quite wary of.

"How could you suggest such a dreadful thing?" the handmaiden asked demurely, fluttering her eyelashes at the Senator.

Bail did not look so convinced. "Where's Padmé'?" It seemed that he had been so distracted that Bail had just now noticed her missing presence.

A devilish smile spread across Anakin's lips. "She decided that she needed to stay home more and take care of the family like she's supposed to…"

Simultaneously, everyone gasped.

"Quitting… just like that?" Bail cried out, though it seemed he was thinking Anakin had gone mad.

To this, Anakin shrugged. "She just does not like it anymore." 

Surprisingly, Bail nodded. "After this meeting, she must declare her departure from the Senate to the Galaxy."

"Ahem," the handmaiden cleared her throat. "In the 'current state', Senator Amidala has left all of her political affairs in Master Skywalker's hands- it would only be appropriate for him to make the speech for her."

"I agree," another Senator said.

"I hope you have her speech with you," Bail said.

"Erm…" 

"Oh no!" the handmaiden cried out before laughing. "Master Skywalker doesn't need notes- he always memorizes." 

At this, Anakin resisted the urge to run the handmaiden over with his roller chair.

"Terrific," Bail said, seeming much more relieved but rather disappointed in his friend's 'abdication'." Still, he continued to look at Anakin with some degree of apprehension.

"Wait a minute!" Anakin snapped. 

"Oh dear, you aren't dressed properly for addressing the Senate," the handmaiden sighed mournfully, touching Anakin's spiral-curled hair.

Much to the horror of everyone present, Anakin slapped the handmaiden.

"You will regret that, Skywalker," she cried out, rubbing her sore hand. After that, she proceeded to cry.

"Anakin!" Bail gasped.

"I will hunt you down and you will regret the day when you broke my nail!" the handmaiden shrieked, holding up a finger that indeed have a broken nail.

"Oh, I am so sorry," Anakin sneered, not feeling the slightest bit sorry.

_Wait… what did she just say?_

"Senator Organa, what does it take to get a restraining order?" Anakin asked, jabbing his thumb over the still weeping handmaiden that Bail was now comforting.

"Pigheaded nerfhearder!" the handmaiden summed up her ranting.

"Enough!" Bail exclaimed. "We were originally discussing whether or not to allow Tatooine into the Republic."

"Never," Anakin said quickly. "Who wants that sandy piece of…?"

At that moment, the handmaiden howled so loudly that his words were drowned out.

"… in the Republic," Anakin finished with a flourish.

"You know that doing so will cut off our trade with them- and decrease Naboo's food supply?" Bail asked incredulously.

"Ah…"

"Do what the man says," the handmaiden sniffed. "He obviously does not know what he's saying…"

Suddenly, a robed being sat up and slammed his fist on the table. "That's it! I have had enough of your attitude, Jedi! If you do not want our goods, you can all starve for all I care!" With a huff, he stormed out of the room to leave stunned silence.

"Well, how bad could that be?" Anakin shrugged.

Everyone else groaned.   
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**Coming Next: Naboo starts to feel the beginnings of an economic depression, Anakin gives a speech to the Senate, and the paparazzi take interest in his new 'do.**


	5. On My Own

**Chapter 5: On My Own**

In the presence of the delegation, Anakin was dragged out of the meeting room and forced into the turbolift.

"Anakin, you are so stupid," the handmaiden muttered darkly, jabbing at the power button all the while digging her nails into his arm.

"You let go of me or I will break every single nail on those fingers of yours," Anakin said through gritted teeth. He yanked his arm away so forcefully that the handmaiden lost her balance and glared at him.

"You're well on your way," the handmaiden whined, displaying yet another broken nail. "Let's do your nails and see how well you like it when I rip them all off one by one…"

"You shall do no such thing," Anakin snapped, jamming his finger into the button to make the turbolift stop. "I have had enough of your nonsense." 

"Fine, you're on your own now, Skywalker." 

_Skywalker? Did she actually just call me that?_

"I can survive on my own without a handmaiden- since when do Jedi need handmaidens anyway?"

The handmaiden said something under her breath that Anakin couldn't hear.

"Did you just call me a-"

"I believe you just missed your floor," the handmaiden said coolly, a smug look surely on her hidden face.

Red flooded to Anakin's face. "I… uh, decided that I didn't like that floor," he stammered before awkwardly exiting off the next floor.

"Oh, by the way, you might be receiving a com from P.W.S.A.H.," the handmaiden called out.

"What is P.W.S.A.H.?"

"Public Welfare Serving Abused Handmaidens." 

"Sure- have them give me a call. For now, you can consider yourself fired."

At this, the handmaiden smirked. "Nice try, Skywalker- I just happen to be your wife's confident- I would not recommend you firing me unless you want the entire Galaxy to know all your dirty secrets… which I might do anyways."

"If it has anything to do with someone known as Darth Sidious, I have confessed to all that," Anakin said with a casual wave of his hand. 

"No, actually that wasn't what I had in mind- M'Lady was fortunate enough to tell me that you can't fall asleep if you don't have…"

"You wouldn't dare!" Anakin gasped. 

"I sure would."

All of the sudden, Anakin just shrugged. "See if I care. I have a few cards up my sleeves that Padmé doesn't know." Satisfied, he strode off.

"Oh, Anakin, I do know," the woman murmured under her breath. When he was long gone, she placed a shaking hand on her womb. "I happen to have a few cards of my own." 

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**Coming next: Anakin addresses the Senate and receives an odd transmission.  
**


	6. The Longest Day

**Chapter 6: The Longest Day**

Anakin was striding down the market on of Courscant's levels enjoying lunch when his comlink went off.

"Anakin Skywalker?" a female voice asked, much to his surprise.

Resisting the urge to stomp on the comlink in the case it should just be a pesky handmaiden wanting to torture him further. "This is he," he finally said after swallowing his bite of shurra fruit.

"This is Healer Mardia. You have a one o'clock appointment at our west building."

_How can I have an appointment if I never made one?_

"I'll be there," he blurted out, clicking off the comlink.

But then, he realized one important thing. Where was the west building?   
_  
You've got to be kidding me_ he groaned, mentally hitting his forehead as he realized his only option.

He'd have to go back to his apartments and look it up over the hologuide, which meant handmaidens.

_Maybe I can slip in without them noticing me_

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**Ten Minutes Later, Padmé's Suite**

Quietly, Anakin stole into the apartment, not daring to make a single sound. **Perhaps this will work** he thought after having been there for a minute and not been noticed.

He was especially quiet as he sneaked into the bedroom and got the name and number, but in his haste, Anakin overlooked another important thing that would come to haunt him.

But in passing by the twin's room on the way out, the Jedi couldn't resist but poke his head in to see his little angels.

Leia was awake and sitting up in her crib, and she flashed him a wide grin upon seeing him. "Dada," she whispered, holding chubby hands out to him.

This melted Anakin's resolve to slip away as soon as possible, and he was soon holding the squirming girl in his arms. "How's my little princess doing?"

Naturally, the Chosen one hadn't actually intending for her to respond, but neither was he expecting to open up her mouth widely and cry out, "WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

This woke Luke up and he joined in with the howling. "WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" 

Without using the Force, Anakin soon knew that they were not alone. "What are you doing to those poor, innocent children?" the Fatty handmaiden asked, rushing immediately to his side and scooping the babies out of his arms. "Is your daddy being silly again," she cooed, kissing Luke and Leia's red foreheads.

"What's the riot about?" another handmaiden asked as she stepped in. Anakin distinctly thought he heard her mumble something about 'incompetent fathers.'

"I just wanted to check up on them," Anakin cried out in an exasperated way.

"Aren't you supposed to be at a meeting?" one of the handmaidens frowned.

"Actually," he said with a note of triumph in his voice, "I am going to the healer."

This confused both of the handmaidens. "Are you sure?" one asked.

"If you're just trying to confuse me, you can stop already," Anakin boasted. "I just confirmed it minutes ago."

Suddenly, the handmaidens burst into giggles, surprising both Anakin and the sniffling twins.

"What?" 

"Nothing," the both said in unison, still laughing at him. "Enjoy your appointment!"

Grumbling, Anakin left. 

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Thanks to his navigation skills, Anakin soon found the healer's office and strode in. "I know I'm a bit early," he apologized to the receptionist, "but is there any way I can be seen now- I have important things to do this afternoon."

The receptionist stared at him before a few moments before running off. She came back a few minutes later and calmly addressed the confused Anakin. "Sure thing," she said cheerfully.

A healer's assistant appeared out of nowhere. "Follow me right this way and Healer Mardia will be with you shortly." Stopping before a door, she handed Anakin a blue gown and gestured for him to enter.

A few minutes later, she joined Anakin and sat down at the desk and hastily jotted down some notes.

_Why do I need to wear this stupid gown just to see the healer?_

She proceeded to ask Anakin a lot of questions that were both so confusing and embarrassing that he blushed. "Okay, that will be it," she announced a few minutes later. Out of a drawer, the assistant pulled out a lethal looking needle. "I need to get a blood sample and then a urine one."

_Did I miss something?_

Minutes later and having that all accomplished, Anakin returned back to the room. "Lie down on the stretcher and put your feet into those stirrups."

_What!_

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**Next Postie: The doctor arrives and discovers something very important… and so does Anakin!**


	7. Oops! My Bad!

**Chapter 7: Oops! My Bad!**

This time, Anakin actually succeeded in barging out of the door and down the hallway. It was only when he reached the waiting room that he realized how odd he looked, especially considering the fact that he was running around in a blue gown that was too tight.

But what really stopped him was the fact that someone very familiar impeded his path to the front door. 

Padmé.

"What are you doing here?" he gasped, already wanting to flee back to the torture chamber upon seeing his wife.

"I am late for my appointment," Padmé sniffed though she viewed his accoutrement with great interest. "What are you doing here?"

It was then that Anakin realized that he really didn't know the answer to that question. "Are you sick?" he finally decided to ask, but his voice chose that inopportune moment to crack comically.

"Well, considering the fact that most women who visit here that are sick have some transmitted disease, I hope not," Padmé said wryly.

"Oh," Anakin blushed, scuffing his toe into the carpet and ignoring the odd looks he was receiving from the other woman patiently waiting for their turn.

Pregnant women.

Bewildered, Anakin gaped at Padmé who was by then grinning.

"If you want to continue the appointment for me, you are more than welcome," she said sweetly, "but if not, I would very much like to see how our baby is doing."

Oddly enough and for the first time that day, Anakin was not at a loss for words. "You would not believe the day I've had," he said quickly, glad when she gave him a sympathetic gaze. "Those handmaidens of yours are evil."

"I rather like them," Padmé replied in an offended voice as she slipped her hand into his arm.

"But that one that has a fetish for nice nails, she is the weirdest of them all!" Anakin exclaimed, not caring if he insulted Padmé's friend. 

Suddenly, anger spread across Padmé's face right as they reached the Torture Chamber door. "Hey, I take offense to that!" she cried out, slapping him soundly in the shoulder.

"And I should care because….?"

"Because that handmaiden was me!"

The past few hours flashed back into Anakin's mind and he was so surprised he actually cried out. "No, it can't be!" he gasped, flattening himself against the wall as Padmé bared a chipped nail. "It is!" After the initial shock was over, Anakin began to laugh. "And you tried to threaten me! Hah! I bet there isn't even such a thing as P.W.S.A.H.!" His discussion was momentarily cut off by the sound of his comlink beeping.

"Master Skywalker," a high pitched voice said, causing Anakin to cringe at her shrillness. "This is the CEO of Public Welfare Serving Abused Handmaidens. It has come to my attention that you have been harassing and threatening a handmaiden by the name of-"

What the CEO said was unheard by Anakin due to the fact that Padmé abruptly burst into a fit of giggles and was currently stifling them by masking her mouth with her hand.

"You shall stand trial for your crimes today at-"

"What a load of bosh," Anakin muttered, angrily flicking off the comlink.

"If that's what you insist," Padmé snickered. Swinging her hair dangerously so it nearly hit Anakin, she marched into the room and shut the door.

Anakin was walking away when the door opened again.

"Oh, Anakin?" she called out loudly though he was only a few feet away. "You were supposed to be in the Senate an hour ago." 

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**Coming next: Anakin addresses the Senate.**


	8. My Mother was a Hamster

**Chapter 8: My Mother was a Hamster**

Anakin was so ashamed, but not for the reason one would think. He was exhausted.

The Chosen One was never exhausted.

Being so short of breath and almost unable to walk, Anakin was feeling so poorly that he did not notice how eerily silent the Senate chambers were as he collapsed into his seat.

"Yousa late," Jar Jar scolded though, with his silly appearance and speech patterns, his opinion was of little consequence.

In return, the Jedi muttered something under his breath that caused the Gungan to go a light orange.

"Jedi Skywalker!" a voice boomed, causing the man to jump. "Stand and address!"

All the blood in his veins froze as he sensed a presence Anakin hadn't felt in many years.

Sidious. 

Indeed, the Sith stood up in the podium between Bail and a senator Anakin didn't recognize. Time hadn't ignited the flame in his eyes, and he held up his cuffed hands as if to say, "Thanks a lot, you piece of bantha poodo."

Oddly enough, he didn't feel at all guilty but instead stood up and hid his shimmering fingernails from the sight of Sidious.

Or, so he thought. 

"I see the Jedi have corrupted you, just as I knew they would," Sidious cackled before Bail threateningly pulled out his blaster. This instantly silenced the Sith into a stubborn silence. 

"After much consideration, my wife-" Anakin began to mumble but was interrupted.

"What is the kriffing Jedi saying?" a Senator bellowed.

Stunned, he found that his voice was gone.

"Speak louder," Bail ordered.

"I ah…"

"He lies!" another senator screamed. "Senator Skywalker would never forget her duty to the Galaxy!"

"She's having another child," Anakin continued through gritted teeth, "and she felt that it would be necessary to-"

Suddenly, the chambers were filled with the sounds of hundreds of senator's snickering.

"Again?"

"Couldn't wait?" 

"What's it going to be this time- triplets?"

"Got your hands full over there?"

"Order!" Bail yelled, instantly silencing the boisterous beings. "Although I agree with the majority on this issue, we must still act maturely."

Since when was Bail Organa a bad guy?

But, Sidious decided that he'd been silent enough. "Strong in the Force, young Skywalker will be. Consumed by the Dark Side, I shall make him?"

Though horrified by this threat, Anakin blurted out, "Why are you talking like Yoda?"

Sidious seemed horrified by this revelation. "The therapy sessions, it must be. Revenge, I shall get on you." 

Minutes later, the Sith Lord's unconscious body was unceremoniously dragged from the Senate chambers.

"Something of great interest has been brought to my attention, Master Skwalker," Bail said from where he was looking at a datapad. "It seems that you have taken to abusing your wife's handmaidens. What have you to say in your defense?" 

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**Coming Next: Apparently, the P.W.S. A.H. wasn't joking.**


End file.
